Alone & Anger {12-31-12}

° 11:05pm

(1) The title says it all so why do I need delve in./ I'm here with my earbuds in holding all this in./ (2) I know It's bad, but Psalm 4:4 said it's OK as long as I do nothin'./ The more I've pondered instead of prayed there became a disturbance./ (3) See pondering is not bad, but It's horrible when It's the same thing./ (4) Like Fonzy said I should let this go since It's not really anything./ Should of never been washing or encouraging since the rib was not from me./ (5) This takes me back to middle school to even being ridiculed by women in lower Californie./ That was over the net, So no I never been in a ship that is the real thing./ (6) Almost as if I'm destined for the single life like the man who discipled Timothy./ All this rambling and I have not described why I'm alone or angry.

(8) Yeah, I know I have Jesus Christ./ I know very well that His Spirit in me gives me life./ (9) I know that with him I'm supposed to abide./ I know that everything I encounter he went through in his earthly life./ (10) I feel alone I guess, well this may come off like a baby cry./ I would love more connection with my family in Christ./ (11) My biological, well that's my fault that to them I never say Hi./ It's almost like the skin color and blood line I can only identify./ (12) I feel like I break my neck to try to get in touch with my Christ Family line./ Not all of them.. I just wish we all were close.. instead of just on Friday Nights.

(13) I'm angry in so many ways, but I'll calm my tongue in trying to explain./ Family is so dysfunctional, my encouragements are not enough to obtain./ (14) Angry at myself because I feel like bottom of the food chain./ I have faith in Jesus, but myself.. not today./ (15) Angry because I'm Just The Brother and with that I am in a maze./ Exploding like Mark Driscoll except I don't go red in the face./ (16)  I need to repent before I go deeper in a jealous rage./ Angry because these feelings keep taking up first place./

(17) I want to hand this over instead of comparing what my brother does./ Being angry does feel good, yet Love is much more and enough./ (18) I need to breathe because I do feel awkward around those who give feminine hugs./ Tired of being alone, I used to blame that on me being African./ (19) Now I sometimes like I have to kiss butt while being trampled on./ I'm so angry because I just want to feel normal around everyone./

(20) Am I alone when I say that I feel like I can't escape this./ I am Not Of This World. I never ever feel like I belong on this planet.

[Old Rhyme] Spitastic {10-18-12}

°10:50pm

(1) I'm a rapper who just loves to unload.
Stepping out in faith so that I can be bold.
(2) When I go in I use my head like Al Snow.
Head banging while thinking of the rock of my soul
(3) Getting in touch with him is such a go.
Such a go to run to the goal that causes me to grow.
(4) I used to want to be famous and be well known.
Have my own posters and a frosted snow globe.
(5) Fresh is what I wanted to be wearing a wrestlers robe.
Telling everyone over again to sample my tone.
(6) I was in the stratosphere, peep the zone.
I'm lying. My head & tongue was just over grown.
(7) I was king of my castle who had his own moat.
I guarded my heart from those close & far all so-
(8) That I could hide what I thought was gold.
Daniel Bryan may have the face, I wanted to be G.O.A.T.

(9) So I realized that I'm not special, yeah that's right.
I'm not that good. No matter how much I say it in rhyme.
(10) I just wish that I was because I would be that guy.
Instead I represent that risen King who is that guy.
(11) So, the name that I shall proclaim is Christ.
What I shall be to the world is salt & light.
(12) My gift of choice is my voice amplified
By that of speakers which is heard by me in mic.
(13) I'm happy to say that I have done died.
Sin is now the enemy. The friend is the sight.
(14) I call him vision because he peeled the blinds
Peeping deep inside the dark recesses of my mind.
(15) A playground that consisted of dark skies.
Sadness & Depression defined my life.
(16) I am forever thankful that I can have new life.
The Spirit is Alive, roaring & writing rhymes.

Vaguley Forward {12-30-12}

°8:12pm

(1) I would like to share with you something that may sound like a maze./ I'm either in circles or running through a phase./ (2) I'm feeling a little foggy all because I come off vague,/ Or I profess what's on my chest way before I should of opened to proclaim./ (3) When it comes to Jesus, I'm straight forward about the things I pray./ One of my many faults is that I get trapped being non direct with Kent or Dave./ (4) Saying Jesus, Professing Jesus comes so much more natural than other ways./ So sometimes I do feel like I come off too unashamed to even those who recognize God's Grace./ (5) Almost like expressing my interests other than Jesus would make them say "Hey"./ This is not me being depressed, or moping just sometimes stating my mind frame./ (6) Like if I would never profess my curiosity and like, then maybe I'd have a chance today./ So used to hanging in that it would be blasphemy to hang out with those who look great./ (7) So what I do is I anticipate when I'm ready in life to be myself and "date"./ So what you hear now is someone who does get afraid, since my tongue and heart profess a certain name./

(8) The only way I can act calm or normal is when I reference Jesus Christ./ That's when I'm so direct. I'm so forward because I realize who is the true light./ (9) At those moments I declare Jesus' life as if I did everyday of my life./ I realize that I have a weakness.. I fear sisters, especially those who are really nice./ (10) Why would I openly admit that for the world, Oh Why?/ I'm letting you know I still have a long way to go even if daily I have a heart cry./ (11) Wanting to set Jesus number one, so It's like for a moment let me be blind. / If that were to happen I still have images in mind./ (12) Fully giving this to Jesus is super hard, I'm not going to even lie./ I'm just here to admit that I struggle day and night./ (13) I suffer because I don't acknowledge Jesus while on water I glide,/ So I fall because I've been thinking and preparing to be that husband in life./ (14) Instead of just living. I opted to think and to strategize./ Pin pointing when I'll be officially ready to receive a wife./ (15) Instead through all of this anguish I should have been fully obeying Christ./ Guarding my heart, but I'm human, I fall. He picks me up.. Yeah that's right./ (16) I sometimes wish I only had emotions for my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ./ Life would be so much better, (Lying) then I would probably not understand certain aspects of life.

(17) I just need to think of Jesus and when be more forward at opportune times. / It's not really helping that I'm vague in real life, yet descriptive in my rhymes./

They Call Him Kentalonius {12/30/2012}

° 12:30am

(1) Today marks year Twenty One of the brother known as Kent./ In case you didn't know well he's the blackest of my friends. (2) Not color wise, he's vanilla toned, but he spits like he was chocolate./ All while representing The Lord that is sovereign. (3) We have had our share fair of unfair ups and problems./ The thing is that we've always came into reconciliation./ (4) Lord, forgive me when to him lately it was more of alienation./ When we need each other while standing apart of God's Nation./ (5) I want to get back to when our fellowship was just basic./ Instrumentals from Pandora. Going back and forth in his car like we were in his basement./

(6) He has a past that I won't describe, but if you knew of him then. / You would know that this gentleman that I speak of is a different Kent./ (7) Raise your hand if you have an amazing best friend./ One who wants to see you reach Jesus while he helps you seek Him./ (8) Or someone who you joked about the sisters with like Rebecca or Elexis,/ toting machine guns like Baptist nuns while saying "Thank Ya Jeeezis"./ (9) Nunchucks involved while defeating Satan and his demons./ While they look so dangerous they do show so much love./ (10) When I'm about to eat, I sometimes ponder if my brother had any grub./ Honestly sometimes I get the feeling that my brother needs a hug./

(11) When it is me and the man known as Kentalony./ We tend be fried like ham, bacon or baloney./ (12) Getting wasted off the vine that is the source for all of we./ I'm still thankful that by fate I can exercise my faith with grace with Emery./ (13) We saw Phil Wickham together and don't forget about Branches at Shoreline that houses Oxy./ We were allowed to worship Jesus and fog windows up because we got intense with the rapping. /- (14) Using the gift of worship since Jesus is our everything,  oh Lord, Oh Lord, Make us sing./ I pray that Kent continues to be open to The Spirit and to dream dreams. / (15) Oh Lord baptize my brother with your fire, make him one that is burning./ I know some people reading this are confused about the things that I'm saying.

(16) This is me basically asking God to touch Kentucky in such an amazing way./ To the point where He is more than compelled to walk towards The Way. (17) Towards the Truth, Towards the Light, Ery' Night while meditation in the Day./ I Love this guy so much that I don't want God to hold back on him not any day,./ (18) Oh My Lord, please shower him with your amazing grace./ Kent Emery is my brother who I wish to tell that he is one who is free, he's no longer a slave./ (19) We are Agape Henchmen. Handlers of Love before a wedding day./ Kent has joy on his face with Luigi's mustache staying in the state that he's unashamed./ (20) Just his heart for Jesus and His People and sinners is something to imitate. / So awesome that we're Jesus Freaks meet Wu Tang & J Dilla who can worship on any stage./

(21) Rapping Jesus to all even if we never even say our names./ Jesus is our focus. Jesus is Kent's focus, That's why we're the two best friends who are brothers who just proclaim./

(22) Also pray that God uses him for today as he preaches at Petra./ Oh, Lord Thank You Again For Blessing me, I praise you Jesus./ (23) For blessing me with an intelligent, influential, talented, guitar playing, rapping, preaching, clownish brotha./ Who is full of you that I'm thankful he shows compassion when I'm not showing love...

Who Am I Really? {12-29-12}

•6:05(am)

[1] We live on a planet that tells us to define ourselves with ourselves./ We're influenced in a ways that' are massive, yet don't fully help. [2] Everybody reading this, no matter your belief, what does your existence entail./ If you could define your aroma, then my question would be what is your smell?/ [3] I'm asking what makes you who you are, I mean check the details./ I say this because sometimes we have motives that aren't really well./ [4] Some of us are so rich, yet we mope around like we have no wealth./ If you're a believer in Jesus you're already successful, that's something you can't help./

[5] Knowing who we are is really, really important in life./ People will say what you have is what defines you in this life./ [6] Well I have Jesus (Woooooo) and that counts all the way to the afterlife./ My encouragement for you is to set Loving Jesus #1 in Life./ [7] Some of you stopped reading, yet continued because I'm speaking with rhymes./ Pretty annoyed that I keep mentioning this Jesus guy. [8] Well ya see the reason for that is because He's the focus of my life./ In Isaiah 33:17 it says I'll see a land that stretches far off, and behold him, my beautiful king with my eyes./

[9] So ask yourself this, "Is Jesus Christ Numero Uno in my life, do I live like he exists?/ He asks us to follow HIM, not to become saved and live as if he does not live./ [10] Sometimes we fall away or never really give to him, / I think because sometimes we're under assumptions of religion./ [11] While we say God is love while delving into our religion./ We indulge in what He made rather than HIM./ [12] We praise weed, sex, technology like those things died for our sins/ With that we form opinions, we state lies and become defensive on how we live./

[13] This is not to stir up guilt to make you hate yourself. If anything it is to stir in you a desire to seek HIM who helps./ [14] And I'm talking to all people, those who do well, and those who mean well./ We're all sick in our own efforts, our bodies are so frail./ [15] For some of you reading this you feel like you're in some kind of jail./ Feeling locked down forever, like no matter what you do you feel like you're in a cell./

[16] There is freedom for you even if you're a skeptic or an atheist or a fallen by the way side Christian./ Basically if you feel a tugging on your heart or maybe this is starting to make sense, then I highly encourage you to let Jesus in./

[17] And He thinks of you as beautiful no matter what even if your choices are ugly./ His opinion of you does not change, now ask Jesus this, "Jesus (if you're real) what do you think of me?"/

Just.. {12-28-12}

°2:42pm

Yo what up this is Richard Stevens Ivth aka ivth of HIS Clan. Welcome to my blog. I write rhymes. I love Jesus.

This poem is something I just wrote as a teaser.. so share my blog..

(1) I'm writing this rhyme while sitting on my toilet seat./ Unleashing a number two while going in deep./ (2) I so do represent He who is everything to me./ No matter the place I can come to him singing. (3) I know some are going to call me disgusting,/ Saying I should of left those details out when writing./ (4) I hope that you enjoy my creative writings./ This for now is just a sample taste, a sneak peak./ (5) So tell your friends and tell your mother about me./ They will love the things I discuss, and how I eventually bring up The King.