"I don't want to be alone"

8/14/14   10:11pm

(1) What is this feeling like I have no gut./
like I'm an electric acoustic that's unplugged./
(2) What soothes this, maybe ice cream in a coffee mug./ Maybe an anti-depresent to have me wanting more hugs./ (3) No one around to listen as my sighs volume up./ The darkness gets explicit as the seconds pass me up./

(4) Deep down in my gut why do I feel hungry./ Also a lack of love like I've been shot and I'm bleeding./ (5) Not by buckets of blood, but emotionally & spiritually./ It's hard waking up in the am when in dreams I taste defeat. (6) I'm afflicted in the mud and tongue is on pig's feet./ Wishing I can wake up when I think I'm still sleep./

(7) Not to say this poem is deep, but I feel like that. Not just in ways that I think, it's much more than that./ (8) Like I'm in a hole bottom of the sea, losing air, needing oxygen mask./ Painted like I'm about to be on Dream St. playing Sega Dreamcast./ (8) If you understood what was wrong with me, then pat my back./ Understand that I need family even if they cause me to be sad./

(10) It does seem like I'm prone try to sit and mope./ This is the honest truth tho, that I don't want to be alone./

First Presbyterian Church [07-20-13]

•3:04(pm)

[1] I first want to apologize as I felt as though I should have already written this./ My thoughts which held me back was "Would this be enough encouragement?"/ [2] I could I chant and cheer on everyone to run to Jesus,/ Without coming off like I'm rebuking them./ [3] I guess I felt like I had to undergo many qualifications./ Then I realized that it don't take much to bless them./

[4] So hello to the Elders who are the head leadership after Christ./ I pray that God by his word and prayer give all of you wisdom and insight./ [5] Continue to be pillars who are only pillars because you follow and look to The Light./ I know things are tougher than I think, but you guys have my support to lead with Biblical love and minds./ [6] I pray that the enemy doesn't keep any of you in a bind./ I rebuke him. Recognize that he aims to destroy so a fragment of him shall not come by./

[7] To the Pastors, Jason, Cris, Joel, & Mike./ I pray that you all continue to preach Jesus Christ./ [8] Be encouraged and strengthen to know that by God yawl are touching many lives./ Many minds, Only God truly gets the glory even if people look at you men and idolize./ [9] You men are constant reminders to keep studying the word day & night./ To know that by Holy Spirit I can speak to any age group, since all can become new in Christ./

[10] To the worship team who I gladly feel apart of./ Every Sunday singing along to our Jesus./ [11] I encourage you brothers and sisters who are talented-/ To continue to keep running this race, and to flat out worship./ [12] I use to care so much about the kind of music./ That is until attending Hungry and eventually coming to the 10:45 worship service./

[13] I Just love my family who I so wish I knew more of./ So many people here that I wish I could hug./ [14] Just wishing I can have true fellowship with everyone./ Appreciate that I do with about a half of them on the second one-/ [15] The second service which together we shout to Jesus./ Get filled with His Love./

[16] Lord I pray that you bless the home that I attend./ Bless us to be a church of Biblical dedication./ [17] Somehow we will come up short like an abbreviation./ Yet we can still be that bride that is so loving./ [18] God bless the families here to be prominent in this body./ To be those who rise and fight in God's army./

[19] Lord Jesus, we need you to equip us more with Holy Spirit./ Have us to only speak the language of the world with the intention to get people to Jesus./ [20] I pray that you empower all the ministries to succeed in your mission./ Have us as a body to thirst, to hunger, and to cry out for Justice./ [21] To be a beacon of light that surrounds Salinas./ To be a salt mine that attracts those who need flavorin'

[22] Also I thank the staff who I know have a lot to accomplish./ I pray that by the strength of God you'll get through this and tasks finished./ [23] I also say thanks that for 7 months I have been cleaning./ This experience allows me to serve God in a different way all while being humble in the process./

[24] Lord I thank you for this home which at times I'm not sure if it is./ Please pray that I'll just continue to love FPC and to accept it./

Hungry Bars {Volume #1.} [7-19-13]

•3:43(pm)

[1] On a Friday before work I am chilling while I write raps./ Hurling up dopness like throwing up yack./ [2] I rap about the one who has those fire contacts./ He gets me so high do you want to catch a contact./ [3] Even when I don't feel like writing crap./ I ask for God's help so that I have no excuse to slack./ [4] So let me get something down on the mat./ Look like I did it with ease like an NFL running back./

[5] I want to preach like Stephen to tick off Saducees./ I want to love & declare like Jesus which is a rebuke to Pharisees./ [6] When I'm in the spirit you can call me a parrot with the speech./ Every good and encouraging thing is from He who made me./ [7] I used to consider Christianity oh so boring./ Then I realized that the things I look into are nothing./ [8] Eyes covered like Ray Wonder until He took seals off of me./ Now I'm Paul with the pen bringing grace to my Family./

[9] Praising God that I get to eat at Hungry./ Get to be around people my own age who are starving./ [10] Ribs touching, yet we are so full that we devour every plate./ We all get equal share, yet a different portion of God's grace./ [11] All who come tonight are not all saved./ All are not walking. Some are asleep in their graves./ [12] We all trying to get closer to Christ even if we at times make it out to be a maze./ Joy is what we all can have, instead as a body we see things as a plague./

[13] So I'm getting my sword sharped to encouraged and to grow./ Yet having my heart focused on He who flows./ [14] The eloquence of God who created speech and has the best quotes./ He is also Love. Love is not Him. Just the all around nature of God is dope./ [15] Way more potent than any kilo of coke./ Yet by Holy Spirit And the blood of Jesus I don't have a dangerous inner & outer dose./ [16] God blessed me with His strength. So great seeds I'll throw./ Not concerned where they land because God is the one who causes any seed to grow./

[17] I really need to Just love folks./ Unconditionally only by first loving God who is most./ [18] Up high is where I expected things to be the most./ Maybe for once I'd like to be a surprised bro./ [19] Was encouraged that I should eat the stew out of my Bible./ Good to know how to cock and aim this living rifle./ [20] Maybe pride is on the inside so for everything I should be humble./ Appreciate that I have Jesus and in no area I should grumble./

"A Mighty Psalm Of Richard 003 {Prayer for to See Christ & HUNGRY}" 05/25/2012 02:30(pm)

(1) Oh Lord I pray that my eyes become fixated on Jesus Christ.
To be led by him, even if the planet earth thinks that I am blind.
(2) Thinking that I'm either following the truth or escaped my mind.
I pray to take all insults in with humility, no need for swallowing pride.
(3) God, Oh wonderful & powerful father I pray that we reach you tonight.
I pray that your spirit falls afresh on Hungry & makes us all start to cry.
(4) Breakdown because of sin or because you're the best thing in our lives.
I'm no Brainiac or no smarty pants. I'm intelligent with jeans when speaking of light.
(5) Jesus, you're the Light of The World, & forever you'll reign all of the time.
We used to be in a situation where we could never receive salvation… Oh look at the time.
(6) Now we have the chance as humanity to ask the one & only Jesus to change our lives.
Not just a ticket to the eternal resting place, but an invitation to forever fellowship with Christ.

(7) I pray that you bless the team who is up to worship in your Holy name.
Actually lord that includes all of Hungry. Even those who are new to this place.
(8) Let every single person be captivated by your presence. Let us seek your face.
Let us gladly worship you. Let us gladly shout who Jesus' is. Lord become our embrace.
(9) Shoot embers deep down in our souls that even our bodies won't be a good place to contain.
Lord, let us proclaim that we are not worthy to receive even an ounce of your grace.
(10) Jesus you love us so much that you offer us so much, & all we can do is take.
You saw past our mishaps. Past our retched sin that disfigured the emotions on our face.
(11) Even if our feet hurt, oh they will hurt, yet that does not matter… this is no kind of chase.
Rather these are children seeing daddy, best friend, and king. All running in an intense pace.
(12) Even if things become confusing like we we're trapped in a corn maze.
We will all make it out of there, Oh Lord by your power increase our childlike faith.
(13) I pray that everything we deposit you rip to shreds & Jesus please throw it away.
Have your way and will tonight at Hungry. Let nothing or no one  leave that area the same as they came.
(14) Let us not show off for the sake of others, instead let come bolding worshiping in your name.
I pray against Satan for trying to have thoughts of conceit enter our brains… Jesus… please obliterate.
(15) Give us the power of the Holy Spirit to fight against our sinful & fleshly ways.
Even if we have to shout out our hurts. Even if it is in hearts. LORD… let us give you our pain.
(16) I'm so stoked right now at the moment because I know you want your kids to be changed.
even more changed than they are now, take us to the point where It's you we love, & sin we hate.